Toxic Culture: When It’s Them, NOT You
Toxic culture isn’t strictly confined to the workplace. In fact, you’d be surprised by the different clubs and activities draining your time and potential. Toxicity comes in all shapes and sizes. It sucks the life out of you and can have serious repercussions on your health.
Before we dive into some toxic environments that may surprise you, let’s first establish what a toxic culture is and what it usually looks like.
TOXIC ENVIRONMENTS 101
A toxic culture is typically characterized by constant fighting, drama, low morale, and unhappy members. It usually stems from poor leadership and can be a huge plague on productivity. It is a significant damper on your overall quality of life and can elevate negativity to new heights.
Toxic environments can frequently be characterized by the following 10 indicators:
- Poor communication and listening skills
- Bullying, discrimination, and harassment
- Disrespect for your personal work/life balance
- History of poor performance and decision-making
- Lack of resources, encouragement, care, or passion
- Rampant internal politics, power struggles, and nepotism
- Self-centered agendas that neglect team and community needs
- Skewed expectations that workers contribute beyond normal hours
- Constant blame game where community leaders refuse responsibility
- Focus on readjusting old, poor habits rather than new, innovative ideas
But the toxicity doesn’t end there. Individuals who have experienced toxic cultures firsthand have reported consistent feelings of:
- High degrees of distress and frustration
- Helplessness that things can ever get better
- Lack of support emotionally or professionally
- Lack of recognition for their many good works
- Devalued and skeptical that their voice or opinion matters
- Low levels of productivity, accomplishment, or fulfillment
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg! According to Workhuman, “Averaged over the last 5 years, the annual cost of culture-related turnover is $44.6 billion.” And the shocking statistics don’t end there. In fact, as many as “one fifth of workers have left a job due to workplace culture….[and] three out of five employees who have been with their company for eight years or less say they’d change employers for a more positive culture.” For more information, check out the full article here.
POTENTIALLY TOXIC ENVIRONMENTS
Church
God may be perfect, but with so many humans involved, your church probably isn’t. You’ve witnessed firsthand how toxic and draining the culture can be, but it’s tough to admit that even when you’re living it.
If you’ve been dreading attending church, it’s high time you evaluated why. There’s nothing wrong with admitting your weekly Service or Bible Study may be doing more harm than good.
Here are some warning signs your church culture may be toxic:
- There is more judgement than unity
- You have to play politics to get anything done
- What gets said publicly is often different from the result
- The emphasis is on the organization, pastor, or leadership
- Lack of recognition leads to exhaustion, burnout, or frustration
- You’re continuously serving and sacrificing with little appreciation
- There’s a constant squabble for power among congregation members
- Conflict, gossip and rumors are the norm rather than direct resolution
- Communication comes from the top down rather than an open dialogue between members
Religion is not a brokerage of power. Hopefully, it is a nurturing community built on love and acceptance. No one is better or more important than the other. We are all an integral part of the congregation where positivity and understanding should persist above all else.
If your church doesn’t fit this mold, it might be prohibiting your spiritual growth. For more information on toxic churches, check out this resource.
Your Child’s Extracurricular Activities
It started off like fun. Soccer, basketball, dance, cheer, music, karate moms…..are you over it? Sure, you love the joy on your kid’s face when they are winning a soccer game. But now, it’s a shuttle bus service, highly competitive or a trophy for every kid’s fragile ego culture.
We aren’t just talking about sports teams, either. Helloooo dance, cheer, and karate parents too! You joined with the right intentions without realizing the level of negativity or commitment. And the burnout is REAL. There are all the coach gifts, pizza parties, games, travel, snacks, birthday invites…the list never ends!
Recognize that you aren’t locked in to any of these commitments. Just because things were great in the beginning doesn’t mean it’s worth it to stick around now that things have turned toxic. You don’t need permission to walk away, either. Use your intuition and don’t second-guess your perception. If something doesn’t feel right, trust that gut feeling.
Boards, Orgs, and Committees
The last thing you need is another board or committee where you’re not being paid or appreciated. Your list of responsibilities is already long enough and why force it when you are starting to dread going to the meetings?
The worst part? You aren’t just paying with your time and energy. Often, they’re bleeding you dry financially too! We’re talking to you, sorority girls & nonprofit volunteer service-based cheerleaders. There’s no need for you to feel nostalgic for your alma mater during donation season. And you’re certainly not obligated to make a contribution if the results aren’t there.
Don’t be afraid to walk away from past activities and clubs that no longer spark joy. You’re a different person or have new priorities versus when you joined. Allow yourself the opportunity to channel your resources and energy into new things that align with your future (sorry, not sorry…leave the nostalgia out of the equation).
WHAT TO DO NEXT
If this all sounds familiar, it’s probably time to cut ties and try something new. And we get it, breakups are hard. But enough is enough, especially when it’s your sanity and mental well-being on the line. Your time and energy are precious resources. Protect your peace by being selective with how you invest it.
Transformation is tricky. If you’re still craving an extra dose of motivation, check out our blog post How to Create in Times of Crisis. It’s a timeless staple to help you navigate emotional exhaustion and challenges at any stage of your life. You can also download our FREE Calm in Chaos Ebook for an actionable checklist on how to transform overwhelm into opportunity.