You may not realize it, but there are a million different ways you may be closing yourself off to love right this very moment.
When you’re single, Hallmark Holidays like Valentine’s Day can feel like a cruel joke. With everything in passionate shades of red and happy couples at every turn, you might be feeling a mix of resentment or loneliness. And that’s perfectly normal! Rather than allowing that negative energy to cloud your outlook on love, let’s channel those pent up emotions more positively.
By now, we’ve heard every excuse on the planet for why high-performing women can’t find love. “I’m just too busy pulling long hours at work” or “I just can’t seem to find my Prince Charming.” Womp, womp, womp. Here’s the tough truth — YOU have the power to turn it around. Yes, you read that correctly. Allow us to explain.
You may not realize it, but there are a million different ways you may be closing yourself off to love right this very moment. Maybe you’re pessimistic you’ll ever find a life partner. Or perhaps you’re simply too afraid to ask for what you want. Whatever the case, your mindset means everything. Lucky for you, Soar to Excellence® Coaching is here with some actionable steps on how you can join the winner’s circle of love today!
1. GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.
Nobody grows inside of their comfort zone. All the magic happens outside of it! Everyone says they want something new, but how many of us are brave enough to actually go out and grab it? You are. You wouldn’t be reading this article if you weren’t! Our advice? Quit skipping all those social hours, networking events, and wine nights over Zoom your friends and colleagues keep inviting you to. Opportunities arise in the most everyday places and your next romance could be at your next event, even if it’s remote.
Don’t kid yourself either — it won’t be easy or convenient. But the moment you start showing up for yourself is when you fight for your spot at the table with all the other badass winners out there. By opening yourself up to the unexpected, the universe will answer in kind.
2. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS.
Are you wondering, “If only I looked like her” or “I wish I had a partner as wonderful as them”? Try to isolate precisely what it is that you admire about other couples.
Is it the way they support each other even when they’re tired? The way they respect each other’s traditions? How they make each other laugh? These are all critical questions for learning your own must-haves and non-negotiables in a romantic relationship. By identifying a few details, you can set the tone for what you want. It’s a lot easier to manifest a goal once it is concrete.
3. DON’T SETTLE.
Don’t you dare! And don’t think for a minute we can’t see you thinking about it either. We know being lonely can feel discouraging; after all, we’ve all been in your shoes at one point or another! But settling for a short-term solution won’t do you any favors in the long run and you deserve better.
Not every person you meet is going to be your soulmate. In fact, most of them won’t be! Do not let that discourage you from getting what you want. There’s a reason we’re always saying “If I exist, he exists™️”! So if someone isn’t offering what you’re looking for or makes you feel unhappy, then leave. You won’t be satisfied now and you certainly won’t feel fulfilled with the relationship in the future.
4. ACCEPT THAT LOVE CAN FEEL SCARY.
Don’t believe the rumors that love is all sunshine and rainbows. It’s terrifying. It’s difficult. It’s vulnerable. And it’s worth every last bit of it all. Be fearless! Accept your flaws and heal from your wounds. Stop listening to that critical inner voice preventing you from being truly present and emotionally available. You have been worthy of love since birth. Now get out there, demand a seat at the winner’s table, and get yours!
5. QUIT SPIRALING INTO “WHAT IF” SCENARIOS.
“What if” scenarios never help. You’re better than that! Fantasizing about what your life “should” look like is no replacement for channeling that energy into action.
Maybe you thought you’d be happily married by 30 with two beautiful children. Or perhaps you thought you’d be retired by now with a strong partner by your side. Ruminating over these false illusions of what your future was “supposed” to look like only succeeds in distracting you. Redirect it by putting your attention into the people, activities, and blessings that already improve your everyday life! Stop living with one foot out the door and accept your accomplishments for what they are. It is only then that you can truly open yourself up to love and live your life more fully.
6. DRESS UP AND SHOW UP.
When do you feel your most confident? If you love a bold lipstick no matter what you’re wearing, flaunt it. If athleisure is your jam, bust out your favorite matching outfit. Sometimes, it’s the mood we set. If we prioritize what makes us happy, we attract the right people. So put your face on, slip into that outfit that always has you feeling like your baddest self, and get it moving, love! Make the effort for yourself instead of always serving everyone else. Your confidence on full display is your best accessory. And damn does it look good on you!
Remember, your choices make a difference. Showing up as your whole and happy self is rare these days. That includes having the right attitude and committing to taking some next steps. Now stop talking yourself out of that upgrade, start visualizing the possibilities with these helpful tips, and hop to it! For more insight, download our ebook “5 Reasons Why You’re Not in the Relationship You Desire” and demand your seat at the winner’s table today. You belong there.
