Say it with us now — it’s okay to not be okay.
No matter how you spin it, there’s no denying that 2020 has been a chaotic year. With 2021 in full swing, the disorder doesn’t appear to be slowing down. In times like these, it’s easy for our inner critic to rear their cruel head. To put ourselves down on how we should have prepared better or done more. You may even feel like you don’t have a right to feel frustrated or sad. Whatever your dueling emotions, Soar to Excellence® Coaching is here to tell you that everything you’re feeling is valid.
You’re allowed to mourn how chaotic this past year has been. It’s encouraged! Accepting and allowing yourself to feel is an important stage of the grieving process. It’s okay that you’re pissed off and extra irritable. It’s okay if it’s taking longer than usual to bounce back into the regular flow of things. It’s okay if you’re simply not feeling up to your typical daily routine. Say it with us now—it’s okay to not be okay.
We understand that the world may feel like it’s burning right now. Like it’s in a topsy-turvy, constant state of flux. It’s been a hectic year and your frustration is perfectly normal. That’s why we’ve organized a consolidated list to help you feel grounded and centered. When life starts feeling out of control, we encourage you to revisit this list. Not just to keep yourself encouraged, but to notice the warning signs of when it’s time to seek outside help as well. Let’s get started!
WHAT’S NOT OKAY:
CONSTANTLY BEING THE HERO
Being everyone else’s hero but your own isn’t fair. It isn’t your job to save everyone! Consistently showing up for others while only saving the leftovers for yourself doesn’t work. It only succeeds in keeping your body and mind trapped in a constant state of emergency. Instead, prioritize your own health and stop living your life for other people. Take time to rejuvenate and refuel your body. In the end, it makes you more productive so it’s a win-win situation. Now get some sleep, put away that never-ending checklist, and listen to your body. It’s demanding your attention for a reason!
NOT LEANING ON YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEMS
Your support network is designed to uplift you when life gets tough. Refusing to call upon them when you’re struggling hurts far more than it helps. Don’t be afraid to reach out to your spouse, friends, or family. You’re on the same team and they love you! Your bond is there to call upon at any time to help you navigate life’s many challenges. Asking for help is a sign of magnificent strength. There’s no need for shame or embarrassment.
IGNORING MENTAL HEALTH CONCERNS
Many high performers experience increased reports of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. The global pandemic has only amplified these feelings of severe isolation. These are stressful times we’re living in and reconnecting with your mind, body, and spirit are crucial. Combat these increased risks by taking extra time for yourself. Schedule regular doctor’s appointments, hire a therapist, and indulge in a spa day. You’re working harder than ever so be kind to yourself!
Seek help immediately if you notice any irregular thoughts of self-harm or hopelessness. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available at 1-800-273-8255 for confidential support.
For crisis counseling, you may also text HOME to 741741 for free, 24/7 advising. If you or a loved one are experiencing distress, contact either hotline. For emergencies, report to your local emergency room or call 9-1-1 (or your local emergency phone number).
TOXIC POSITIVITY
We’re constantly being told to look at the bright side and it’s exhausting. Life is painful right now! We’re living through a global crisis and this situation sucks! Reevaluate your expectations and ignore the social media messages telling you to be more productive. Accept your negative emotions for what they are and stop pretending everything is okay. Start with familiar, actionable steps that make you feel better. Maybe it’s changing out of your pajamas for the day or going on a walk outdoors. Don’t allow toxic positivity to bog you down or invalidate your negative emotions. Just because these feelings aren’t pleasant doesn’t mean they should be ignored. Instead, acknowledge, process, and communicate them. This way you come out of the experience understanding yourself better.
WHAT IS OKAY:
MAKING NEW RULES FOR THE NEW TIMES
If this year has taught us anything, it’s to expect the unexpected. Things change fast and it’s easy to feel disoriented at times. It’s not a crime to make things up and adjust as you go! Being rigid won’t do you any favors. Instead, do your best with what you have and keep moving forward! Getting too lost in the details will only slow you down and hinder your growth. Adaptability is key so don’t be afraid to create some new rules during these new times.
ASKING FOR HELP
All Winners need a team! In fact, adding a trained professional to your roster is a huge game-changer. Resources to online therapy services are thriving like never before. With thousands of licensed therapists available with varying specializations, there is truly someone for everyone. Whether you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, or anything in between, therapy can help you adjust and adapt to all the opportunities and obstacles coming your way.
But don’t worry, we’ve already done all the homework for you! Verywell Mind is a valuable resource comparing some of the best online therapy programs currently dominating the market. Allowing you to compare and contrast the top services of 2021, you can easily select your most compatible platform. Now save yourself some time and stress by adding a therapist to your team today!
IF YOU’RE NOT WHERE YOU THOUGHT YOU’D BE
Maybe you thought you’d be 15 pounds lighter instead of 15 pounds heavier. Or perhaps you thought this would finally be the year you make partner. Whichever the case, it’s time to admit that beating yourself up over “what if” scenarios is counterproductive and harmful. Start thanking your body for what it has helped you achieve. We don’t fit into our old jeans either! There’s a sense of comfort in acknowledging this year has been difficult for everyone. Trust that you aren’t alone in your struggle. What matters now is how you dust yourself off and prepare for your next opportunity. Your time is coming! All you have to do is rise to meet it.
EXTRA SCREEN TIME
With most children learning from home, screen time is rising as we all move less. Rest assured that there’s nothing to feel guilty about. You don’t have to be a rockstar! You aren’t a terrible parent for letting your child play on the iPad longer than usual! Right now, you’re in survival mode. Plus, we aren’t out of the woods just yet! If it saves your sanity and offers you a moment of peace, take a deep breath. We’re all adjusting to a new normal and the rules are different now. There’s no need for screen shame and you’re not a villain for keeping your child distracted!
LONG STORY SHORT
You make your own rules. Forgive yourself for the pain and disappointment of not being further along. We’re all doing our best and even on your worst day you’re still a Winner! We’re all functioning in survival mode right now. We’re all adapting to this new and bizarre normal. Be kind to yourself and count your victories where you can. Listen to your body when it cries out for help. And no matter what, remember—it’s okay to not be okay!
