Why Am I Single and Still Looking for the Relationship I Deserve?
Why am I single and how is it that I haven’t found the perfect partner yet? Be honest. How many times has that thought run through your head? Or how many times has that phrase actually stopped you in your tracks and made you question everything in your life from your personal to work relationships?
I’d guess it’s quite often. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve even taken part in the odd dating quiz over the years. Remember those great magazine quizzes in the 90s where you answered a few questions and it told you how to attract the perfect partner or how to keep your boyfriend happy?
Well if you do you’re definitely not alone. We’re all guilty of doing those quizzes hoping to reveal something amazing that will solve all our relationship woes. And sometimes they even make us think a bit deeper about ourselves, pushing us to do a bit of soul searching. But that’s about as far as it goes. Nothing meaningful is ever really discovered and no changes are made.
The truth of the matter is if you want to stop asking yourself ‘Why am I single?’ then you need to get a grip on your own mindset and how you perceive relationships in the first place.
And that starts with reframing your belief system around the whole dating process and the preconceived ideas you’ve had for years, often subconsciously.
WHY AM I STILL SINGLE?
Let’s go back to where it all started…
Because for most of us, our deepest thoughts, feelings and actions around dating or relationships started when we were young.
Those deep rooted beliefs from fairytale stories that all have the same ending – ’and they lived happily ever after’ – place unrealistic expectations on us as adults.
They’re embedded in our subconscious from a very young age. They leave us seeking perfectionism in relationships, expecting romance to be like it is in the fairytales.
And we end up disappointed when the reality is completely different.
Fast forward to being an adult and now the picture has changed. We’re questioning what went wrong and why hasn’t it happened for me yet? After all, our parents and elders before us managed it. Our friends make it look effortless and so many around us seem to have relationships with longevity.
So you ask yourself, why not me? Why am I still single?
I did everything I was supposed to do. I worked hard at school, established a great career and I followed ALL the rules.
Why then don’t I have my ideal relationship?
What’s wrong with me?
How will I get someone to just ‘choose me’?
Do I really have to resort to going online?
Ok I get it…I mean it isn’t exactly the romantic story you had in mind, telling people you swiped right instead of left.
And let’s not get started on finding a ‘Plus One’ to fill in the gap so you don’t have to attend things on your own.
It all starts to feel like a domino effect with first one thing then another spiralling out of control.
Well it doesn’t have to be that way.
And I should know because I’ve been there. I’ve walked in your shoes. I even wrote an algorithm to get a husband back in 2010 and I’m now married with a beautiful daughter.
So trust me when I say I know what works and what doesn’t. For me I knew that if I was to have the relationship I really wanted then I needed to do what worked for me, not for anyone else.
And it’s no different for you either. You need to know and understand who you are, what makes you tick and what’s holding you back. Understanding your Dating DNA and your own unique natural wiring are the pieces of the puzzle that will allow you to stop sabotaging your relationships.
And that’s exactly why I created the Dating Quiz to help you do just that.
Only this quiz isn’t like the quizzes from years ago in the magazines because there’s a science behind it. A science I discovered through the dating algorithm I created over 12 years ago.
Interestingly, it turns out there are four potential characters that appear repeatedly when I’m making a Dating Diagnosis. And what’s even more interesting is that often a little of each of them appear in most people, but there is usually one prominent one.
It’s scarily accurate and has helped so many of my clients find the relationship they deserve, the one they’ve been searching for but never managed to find.
I wonder which one would be your most prominent….which would answer the question for you of why am I single?
Which of these do you think I’d diagnose for you?
- The Fixer
- The Avoider
- The Nurturer
- The Overthinker
Take the Dating Quiz to find out >>>
Before you go though, it’s important to remember, not every person you meet is going to be your soulmate. In fact, most of them won’t be! But don’t let that discourage you from getting what you want.
I want to share something with you which I know will help you take the next step….The SOAR Success Formula. This is the secret to cracking the code that has you single and stuck.
Ready?
The SOAR Success Formula
STOP – first things first, we need to STOP dreaming and start doing. The romantic story and happy ending you dream about is exactly that, a dream. Prince Charming won’t bump into you in the grocery store or leave his number on your windshield.
Be realistic with your expectations, STOP avoiding the dating world and get ready to put your fabulous self out there for all to see.
OVERHAUL – admit that your personal life is in need of an OVERHAUL. Your priorities around dating won’t lead to the results you desire. In fact, someone meeting you for the first time might wonder if they’re going to be a priority in your life or always be in the background.
An OVERHAUL of your routine, schedule, communication and value in and out of the office should top your ‘To Do List’. And remember, you can’t find the love you don’t make time for.
ASSESS – it’s time to ASSESS your relationship goals. Vague goals don’t cut it. Treat this like you would a job search. Everything you do from your resume to your interview outfit is carefully chosen to achieve the goal of getting a job, right?
Do the same with your relationship search and ASSESS those goals. You can’t prepare and take action without clearly defined goals.
And if it’s an important goal, you declare it and prepare! My Mantra when he seemed impossible to find: If I Exist, He ExistsTM!
RESET – and now we push the RESET button. No more waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Newsflash: waiting doesn’t work. I wrote an algorithm (on real notebook paper) for love, and have an amazing husband.
I want to share it with you, but let’s get in the right frame of mind first.
Seriously, even Beyoncé rehearsed for 8 months to get ready for Coachella. If you’re going to headline, you need to step out confidently and own that dating stage.
You can do this, I know you can!
Hitting the relationship reset button is similar to rebooting your computer – except we’re resetting your mindset instead of your hard drive.
It’s time to change the narrative that’s been taking up too much space in your head and go out and make things happen.
