How to Find Love and What’s Stopping You | Take the Dating DNA Quiz To Find Out
If you’ve ever been tempted to type the words ‘How to Find Love’ into Google followed by ‘as a busy career woman’, then keep reading because you’re definitely not alone.
The feeling of being single and stuck is tough and putting yourself out there in the dating world can be stressful.
The online world is a minefield and the idea of swiping right or left does not sit well with you at all. Just the thought of playing the digital dating game gives you cold sweats.
Then, when you add your career into the mix the whole thing seems completely impossible. Your days are full of boardroom meetings, emails, Zoom calls and a million other things.
BUT knowing how to find love is just like achieving any other goal….it needs a well thought out plan and strategy.
For a start don’t focus on your lack of love. Instead, focus on the plan you’ll create to make it all happen, in the same way as you would in any other area of your life.
At the end of the day it’s all about priorities. Just as you’d schedule & map out your work days you need to do the same for your dating and personal life. Make yourself available, open and ready to connect with someone new coming into your life.
Ready to discover what’s stopping you from finding the right relationship and the love you deserve?
I hope so because I’m sharing 5 simple steps that will show you how to find love the right way PLUS an opportunity to take the Dating Quiz to discover your own Dating DNA that’s keeping you single and stuck.
How To Find Love Step 1 - Give Your Personal Life Priority Status
As a highly driven woman, you’re probably spending a lot of energy proving your worth in your career, both to yourself and those around you.
You’re juggling a hectic work schedule where your phone never seems to stop, email notifications pop up constantly and you’re the person everyone relies on to get things done.
But here’s the thing, the priority you place on those work calls and emails needs to be applied to your personal life as well.
It’s simple, you can’t find the love you don’t make time for.
Not to mention, someone new coming into your life might look at the busyness around you and wonder if they’ll be a priority in your already fast and furious paced life.
How To Find Love Step 2 - Acknowledge your Martyr Mindset®
It’s natural for you to want to help other people, put their needs before your own and do what you can for them, but this is leading to what we call Martyr Mindset®
Simply put, you’re the person who can be relied upon to do everything.
You’re constantly giving, always the first to offer help and the one people call when they need something done.
This will ultimately lead to burnout, unfulfilment and resentment at being taken for granted.
You’re doing everything for everyone but forgetting about YOU.
Studies show 50% of happiness is how you’re wired at birth, 10% comes from circumstance, and 40% is from the choices we make.
Make the right choice and choose YOU.
If you want to know how to find love, choose yourself, commit to what you want and allow yourself to prepare for the vision you have for your own future.
How To Find Love Step 3 - Set your own Dating Benchmark
I know in Step 1 I told you to make time for your personal life but that doesn’t mean accepting every single date that comes your way.
I want you to grab a pen and paper and write this down. Don’t date out of FOMO. It sounds crazy but it happens, more than you probably realize.
If you want to know how to find love then set your own dating benchmark and never settle.
Why? Because settling leads to dating disasters and disappointments.
Let me tell you a story about one of my clients, we’ll call her ‘Amanda’ for the purpose of this story. Anyway, Amanda had NOT set her own dating benchmark.
She was on the dating road to nowhere spending her precious free time ‘getting ready’ for date after date with one unsuitable guy after another. And we all know how much of a time investment the ‘getting ready for a date’ phase is.
It was a classic case of fear dating at its very worst.
Anyway, she was on one of these ‘FOMO dates’ when the guy made a derogatory comment about her appearance. Now, don’t even get me started on how rude it is to make an appearance comment on a date, or any time for that matter, but that’s not the worst of it. She didn’t even like the guy. She went on a date with him because she thought she had to just in case she missed out.
Now that sort of dating is not only exhausting but it’s demoralizing too. Who wants to waste the time they do have on all the wrong people?
Moral of Amanda’s story is don’t be afraid to set your own dating benchmark and remember that by saying ‘no’ to the wrong dates you’re freeing yourself up to say ‘yes’ to the right ones.
How To Find Love Step 4 - Declare and Prepare your Dating Intentions
There is definitely power in setting goals. We all know that. It’s why so many of us set a New Year’s resolution, or in my case multiple resolutions. The problem is we never seem to stick to them. They remain unfulfilled and this is exactly what seems to happen when we try to find love.
And this is where step 4 comes into play. It’s time for you to declare and prepare.
Think about how you approach your goals at work. You write them down, break them up into manageable steps and then set about putting together a plan to make them happen.
That’s exactly what I want you to do here. Set your intentions now and don’t be vague. Ask yourself, what do you want out of a relationship? What are the non-negotiables, the must haves, the nice to haves and the things that don’t really matter?
Write them all down and declare them to yourself. Then follow that up by preparing a plan on how you’re going to make that happen.
This is such a big step in how to find love and the right relationship.
And remember, in the same way you follow a process to select a job that’s the right fit, it’s exactly the same with relationships. Follow the process and don’t be tempted to wing it.
And don’t allow yourself to settle. Know what you want and don’t be afraid to verbalize it. Repeat after me: If I Exist, He ExistsTM! Speaking it out loud has power!
How To Find Love Step 5 - Stop Dreaming and Start Doing
All the daydreaming in the world isn’t going to help you find the love you’re looking for.
Action is the antidote. The only thing dulling your dating shine is lack of action.
Let me ask you a question, how on earth do you expect to meet anyone when you never make the effort to go anywhere or allow yourself to enjoy a social life?
When was the last time you went to the theater, visited a museum, or had dinner out at your favorite restaurant? When did you last indulge in a hobby or pastime you love?
And finally, when did you stop being you and start becoming that person who lives to work instead of works to live? The person that’s so busy doing ‘all the things’ that they’ve sacrificed their own happiness.
That perfect relationship you’re looking for isn’t going to jump out of your mailbox all neatly tied with a bow. You have to dress up and show up!
No more excuses. It doesn’t matter if you’re tired or feel overworked. It’s time to stop dreaming and start doing.
Your journey to love and the relationship you deserve starts with these five steps. And I know they might be hard to hear but tough love is needed.
Hitting the relationship reset button is similar to rebooting your computer – except we’re resetting your mindset instead of your hard drive.
It’s time to hit reset on your subconscious beliefs and visualize a very different space.
Close your eyes and imagine your mind as a blank canvas telling a brand new story…a story where you have it all figured out. One where you’ve changed the narrative and allowed yourself to flirt with the idea of love.
The life you’re dreaming about exists but you’re the only one with the power to embrace it and turn that dream into a reality.
Are you ready to Crack the Relationship Code on how to find love?
Because if you are, I have something I know will help you to do just that. I created the Dating Quiz for successful, driven and ambitious women like you, to help you find the love you deserve.
